Is there no future?
a negative-journaling thoughts…
- I cried again, because I became negative. To be honest, I thought something would change in the past years. But nothing has changed. I still became negative.
The realization of becoming someone’s friend is easy but that ‘attachment’ bonding isn’t there. I know my counselor in the past told me to do something, but instead I didn’t.
- Nowadays, I still get trauma, whatever I do. It’s not like that, but whomever I speak to, I tend to not want to say a word. I don’t think I’d ever be happy. Even when someone tells me to stop my negative self. I don’t feel like myself anymore.
- I realized I’ve become more empty. Basically, I don’t feel anything anymore. The loss of empathy. The loss of reasoning. I’m defeated everyday, at home.
- I always say this in my mind, Should I die or not? Is the best idea for me to suicide.
- Someone said confidence is something to be gained. In the past, I have gained confidence in the past, but now I’m in defeat. It’s so hard to stay positive and want attention from someone.
- But in the end I’ve become empty.
- I wish I was a butterfly, that I can soar in the sky with wings that can fly high once again.
- But to be honest, am I waiting for that? That, I do not know of.