No place called ‘home’

Home is not there when I thought it was

Karin

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Photo by Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash

When dealing my emotions I couldnt get it out of my head. I thought of many times to not write about it. But to be honest, when I thought I felt I like belonged home, and its not. When the cleanning nanny that my mom hired just complained at me ‘for not being able to watch home and like whats the point of you being home’. She said I was just sleeping and not being watch the house. I’m Not sleeping. In fact, I’m just trying to avoid her so I dont get to her workload.

She hates that fact I’m Sleeping and not watching home. In fact I watch the house a lot. But its just that I’m More annoyed then I’m Usually is.

I wrote a post similiar to this a few days. There was some phrases she said that were similiar to this post.

I know she just cleans the house a lot and notices the details a lot. But just more annoying she said that part. Which I wrote earlier. Just by saying that I would rather avoid her everytime she comes to work.

I hate the fact I’m Being reprimanded in chinese to the things I didnt do. In fact, just because I was gone three months in japan and came back and now I hear this. The annoyance feeling of being a nuisance in family feeling. It’s Not like shes our family member. It’s going to get me wary from people again. The feeling of trust from a person.

Also, while I was writing I kept on crying and crying and I got a bloody noses. I thought I will never cry from some simple matter. But I guess it’s Not simple being at home.

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Karin

just a flower full of wonders. Trying to self - resolution for my boredom