Racing with thoughts

the night before an orientation



Photo by Simon Gibson on Unsplash

Unable to sleep, I asked an ai what can I do to sleep.

but talking to an ai, isn’t talking a human-being,

is just a replicate answer machine,

that doesn’t replace human emotions,

you want that thing ‘ai’ to feel,

but time in night, doesn’t hold.

the longer I’d think I realize

how much my family gave in,

the humanistic toxic relationship,

and myself selfishly,

I have to change my politeness,

as what my mom says

during those calls…


But I realize, the longer I tried to calm myself down,

the discomfort, of reminding myself seeing a bunch of

people the next day on train,

I realize that anxiety is never going to stop

Earlier in the evening, just even meeting other people,

I shrugged myself, to the non-contact feeling.

But now as I’m as typing, I think writing my thoughts give me

less anxiety, even if I can’t get a perfect sleep

As long, I remain positive the next day meeting others,

and the nuisances of remanants of my family nearby,

I think I can stay positive and control myself to

try not be negative, but walk forward

to something that can change.




just a flower full of wonders. Trying to self - resolution for my boredom